I’m all about helping people find personal and financial freedom – so I want to share some things that I did in the past that completely wasted my time and energy in pursuit of the first one (personal freedom).
By sharing these, I hope I can help you avoid the same mistakes I made!
1) I tried to make everyone around me happy at the cost of neglecting self-care.
I thought the more I made others happy, the more I would feel validated as a person.
In reality, I was paying so much attention to the needs and wants of others that I literally became numb to what brought joy to me in life. In my mid-thirties, I realized that I had no hobbies. I had a certain unawareness of what I actually wanted at any given time.
2) I geared my occupational interests toward what I thought others would appreciate so that I would have companionship.
Back in college, I totally switched majors because the girl I was dating at the time told me she could see herself with a businessman but not a biologist. I allowed myself to base HUGE life decisions off of what others wanted from me, but I ended up being 40 and still uncertain of what I wanted to do with my life.
3) I did not open up to the people who cared about me when I started questioning if I was living an authentic and free life. My decision making was being impacted by what I perceived would be the reactions of others if I was honest with myself and them. My greatest desire had become keeping everyone around me happy.
I think I did these things because I have always been an accommodating person. As a child, my mother would have to remind me that I was allowed to tell my older sister “no” if I did not want to do what she said. In middle and high school, I wanted to help others get what they wanted so that they would value me. As an adult, I would not question or talk through my vocational desires and aspirations because they ran contrary to what I had always said I wanted to do.
Well, it turns out that those three ways of thinking and behaving were really dumb and prevented me from being for others what they actually needed me to be…my self. I am now on a journey of self-discovery. I am constantly growing and learning more about the one person I have greatly ignored all of my life…me.
Now, it’s your turn! What things have you done to try and find personal freedom?
Share in the comments!
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